Christina-Taylor Green Funeral: Little Kids, Large Grief

Pat Loder knows. She's been there.

Loder buried both her children -- 8-year-old Stephanie and 5-year-old Stephen -- in a shared coffin two decades ago this March.

A speeding motorcycle broadsided Loder's car as she attempted to turn left onto her street. Her only children died of injuries in the crash.

"It was very difficult for my daughter's classmates," said Loder, now 55 and executive director of Compassionate Friends, an international support group that helps those who have lost children.

"I am sure these kids will have nightmares," she said. "It was traumatic and violent. Ours was a sudden death, too. One day they are playing with a playmate and the next day there were gone."

"And it makes them feel unsafe," Loder said. "In their mind's eye, it's not safe to go to corner market or to a friend's house without someone else. It's a natural part of the process."

But are these young grievers too young to attend the funeral?

"We can't make a generalization whether they should go or not," said Loder. "It really needs to be up to the parents to decide if they are mature enough."